Wednesday, December 18, 2013

GENUS: Elves SPECIES: Not Santa's

Backstory:
1) My kid is obsessed with Youtube. He thinks it contains all earthly knowledge. It’s like the apple given to Eve, but with a kick-ass soundtrack.
2) My husband is currently reading The Hobbit to my son.

Story:
Over the weekend, I get out of the shower to find my kind on my laptop. He gives me a guilty side-eye and sinks in his chair. I check it out and find that he’s muted and paused what appears to be a “behind the scenes” clip from Lord of the Rings.
Me: You know you aren’t supposed to be on my computer, and you’re never supposed to use Youtube without permission.
Him: I know. *squirms* But, Mom…what is this?
Me: You know The Hobbit?
Him: Yes.
Me: This is Rivendell. Where the elves lives.
Him: We haven’t gotten to that part yet. *leans in closer, examining the details of the architecture, then glances up* The elves that help Santa?

Me: No. Bigger elves. They’re bigger than hobbits, as tall as or taller than humans. More swords, fewer toy workshops. Now, off my computer.
Him: Okay. *runs off*


I checked his search history. He’d searched for “The hobbit” four times – misspelled each time – then  “Mario and Luigi” – spelled correctly – then “Luigi wins”, then "Mario gets mad", then “funny cat videos, no swords”.

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