Thursday, March 31, 2011

CUISINE AT THE END OF THE WORLD

When I was growing up, in a small town in Alaska during the early 1980's, my parents didn't buy milk in a carton. Nor did they grow milk plants and harvest/drain the pods (ten points to whoever names the origin on that reference - I'm certain I can't remember). They bought powder, added it to water, and mixed it...often with poor results. Want to know what a dry lump of partially-reconstituted milk feels like in your mouth? Like a spore of Hell has landed on your tongue, that's what.

Why would parents subject their children to such a thing? Because it was less expensive than liquid milk, and had a long shelf-life. Those were the sorts of things we had to pay attention to in a place where almost all food stuffs were imported, and the import schedule was erratic. At the time, I thought the manufacturers of the stuff (Nestle, I think) were sadists. Now, in light of the (probably) impending zombie apocalypse, I think they might be geniuses.

For all the changes in the world and Alaska during my lifetime, we still can't grow much food here. Sure, there are animals and delicious fish, but the growing season is short and cool. We can grow 100 pound cabbages, but grains are tricky, and don't get me started on fruit. Also, some of those animals kill people on occasion. 

So, in the event of the end of the world, what would we have? I'm presuming here that the final curtain call will be preceded by a period of energy scarcity on such a scale that manufacturing ceases, etc. etc. We'd have massive Brassicacaeae, moose steaks (here's a how-to if you want to make your own), salmon, and tart berries. I sense scurvy in my future, unless a couple of Jamba Juices survive and start delivering. Which would be awesome btw, a perky little badass Jamba juicer hellbent on delivery in a Mad Max world. Quick - somebody go write that.

So, for all you authors of apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic prose, where's the food coming from? Are all your characters hoarding Twinkies and raiding the 7-11 at the end of the world, or are they growing and harvesting? And what are you planning to live on, should the end times come a-callin'?

8 comments:

  1. Canned goods, MREs, and whatever crops still exist. Root-based food where able. I suppose you could also still fish and hunt, provided the end of the world hasn't driven humanity underground.

    And wine, cause, ya know, it ages well.

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  2. You know, I keep stockpiling wine, and it keeps disappearing...not sure what's going on there. :p

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  3. Brains... all kinds of brains...

    LOL

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  4. Soylent green... or as I wrote in one of my shorts, human jerky. It's tough and chewy but very nutritious. As for the other food groups, the alien invaders, who feed on our brain waves, have been kind enough to diagnose and whip up whatever nutritional needs our bodies have. They say that too much alcohol, however, creates some psychedelic jamba juice for the aliens, so they tend to keep us liquored up as long as possible.

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  5. Claire, this actually is the strongest disincentive to drinking I've ever seen. ;)

    Classic, EEV!

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  6. Love the perky Jamba Juicer! Wish she would get her ass to NZ because I miss my Coldbusters. I will have to survive on wild thistle soup and maybe an occasional berry :)

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  7. Yeah. Jamba Juice delivery in a Mad Max world.

    I'm writing that one.

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