Tuesday, March 13, 2012

DROWNING OF HER - AW BLOG CHAIN

I'm back on the chain gang! It's been awhile since I've participated in AbsoluteWrite's monthly blog chain. If you haven't dabbled in such a thing, I highly recommend it. Writing to a prompt is a good exercise (this month it's Rainy Days), writing with brevity (less than 1,000 words) even more challenging. Plus, you get to meet and read all sorts of other writers (participant list at the end).

This is a snippet of character work from RD, my work in progress. Fair warning: it's not one of my lighter pieces.

~~ Drowning of Her ~~

      
            It was the sound of rain that roused him. Not the darkness that had fallen, nor the cold that crept into the room in defiance of the fire. Water overcame the gutters all at once, round funnels dropping like the rails of a gate to obscure the view of fir trees and low skies.

            Victor closed the book that lay open on the desk, not bothering to mark the page. He hadn’t had much hope when he opened it. Another dead end in a lifetime of dead ends. He rose, abruptly restless. What he sought wouldn’t be found in a book, or any written record. It was the sort of thing – a legend cobbled together from half-truths and wishful thinking – that gushed up from deathbeds or was torn from men desperate to believe that these slivered rumors would buy them more time.

            The fire spit sparks onto the hearth as he passed. He would not know comfort again, not until he had the answer – not until he had her back.

            He clasped his hands and gazed into the stone yard behind the house. Elizabeth hated it. She’d been raised in wild gardens. The trellis was bare, stripped of the climbing, flowering vines she’d carefully cultivated.

            Victor turned at the sharp rap on the door. “Come.”

            “Sir.” Davis filled the doorway. “They've given up nothing.”

            She’d been delighted with her first sprouted seedlings, vibrant green leaves and weak wobbling stems overflowing her collection of mismatched jars.

            “Hang them up.” Victor jerked his chin toward the trellis. “Together if it can stand the weight.”

            Davis retreated and, as he descended the stairs, other heavy footsteps joined his. The old house muffled the inevitable shouting, absorbed the impact of disagreement. The back door opened and Victor’s people dragged two men out, one kicking against his bonds, the other quiet.

            The captives and the captors both bowed their heads to the icy rain. Blood diluted and dissipated in the water running rivers through the stone. One less thing to clean up. Davis raised his head, shielding his face with one hand. In the other, he held a length of chain.

            Victor nodded. He would have his answer, if he had to tear through every last man to get it. He would have his Elizabeth back.

~~

PARTICIPANTS AND POSTS




Bogna -  (link to this month's post)

Ralph Pines -  (link to this month's post)


pyrosama -  (link to this month's post)


Nissie - (link to this month's post)


Lyra Jean -  (link to this month's post)


Domoviye -  (link to this month's post)


magicmint -  (link to this month's post)


areteus -  (link to this month's post)


julzperri -  (link to this month's post)


AFord -  (link to this month's post)


randi.lee -  (link to this month's post)


J. W. Alden -  (link to this month's post)


SuzanneSeese -  (link to this month's post)


Tomspy77 - http://thomas-willam-spychalski.webs.com (link to this month's post)


ronbwriting - http://ronbwriting.blogspot.com (link to this month's post)

20 comments:

  1. Very intense! I love the imagery, it completely pulled me into the environment and the mood of the story immediately. Nice job- hope to read more from you.

    R

    ReplyDelete
  2. An engaging scene, well-written and Victor's determination is evident--wish him well as your storyline unfolds. Nice touch with ===>"The fire spit sparks onto the hearth as he passed.", and also your opening with him closing a book at his desk--excellent visual discriptions--Cheers. Keep polishing your gift.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, his determination is bordering on the obsessive. Or perhaps it's already crossed that border. Thanks for stopping by, AFord.

      Delete
  3. Something about the rain always seem to make people want to write darker pieces, as good as this reads!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I certainly wouldn't have written this for a "sunny day" theme. :)

      Delete
  4. Ruthless man to say the least. I wonder if he deserves the prize he seeks?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very dramatic scene unfolding here! I was in it for sure. Love the icy, cold rain in the background of the crackling fire, distancing Victor. This has a lot of depth and contrast. Very well done.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think I will now adopt the term "chain gang" forever after (I'm in Mississippi so that counts as edgy humor!).

    Assuming that the MC is ordering the prisoners to be hung from the rafters of his own manse, this is indeed pretty dark--but also pretty compelling. I'd like to know who Liz is and how she's to be gotten back if drowned (as long as it's not vampirism).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For once, orion, it is not vampirism. :)

      Delete
  7. Awesome story! I loved the heavy atmosphere and building tension. It made me want to read more. :)

    And hey, since I enjoyed reading your blog, I'm going to go ahead and tag you to participate in the Lucky 7 Meme. If you're not familiar with it, you can check out the entry on my blog for more info:

    http://www.authoralden.com/2012/03/gadzooks-ive-been-tagged-lucky-7.html

    I know I'm blindsiding you, so if you're unable to participate for whatever reason, that's okay! Just enjoy a few extra hits on your blog. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks, J.W.

    I appreciate the tag, but unfortunately I'm swamped right now. Thanks for thinking of me, though. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oops, I also tagged you, Hillary. *blush* I understand you're busy, but now I guess so will be your statcounter if you have one. lol

    Tag, you're it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too busy to check the statcounter, unfortunately! :)

      Delete
  10. I love it! It's really intense, and the cold, determined heart of Victor really shined through, I really enjoyed reading this piece :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. This piece caught my attention from the very beginning and left me wanting more. Excellent pacing throughout! Great job! :)

    ReplyDelete