Sometimes twitter signs me out.
I don't know why.
Maybe it's cleaning house and sees me zoned out and thinks I'm some hairless dust bunny, or maybe there's a quota for mentioning coffee too many times in a week (I don't sleep well, twitter, please learn sympathy!).
Anyway, when I get the boot I lose all ability to reason. I refresh the sign-in page a few times, like maybe my browser will decide to start refreshing to a page with a page from the past. And then, when I go to sign in, I enter my username as "twitter", but without the quotation marks. Because in my small, reptilian brain, all I have to do is type "twitter" and I'm flooded with tweets. Mostly about coffee and self-promotion, but about ten percent are awesome and that's more than I can say about things people say to me in real life.
DO NOT enter your username as twitter, by the way. The program gets an attitude, and is like "oh, nuh-uh, you did not even".
Actually, I may have just discovered why twitter sometime signs me out. Also, I think it stuck a "pin me" stickynote to my butt. A Pinterest joke, twitter, really?