SO WAT'CHA, WAT'CHA, WAT'CHA WANT?

Twenty-twelve is right around the corner and, as ever when we reach the cusp of a new year, that means it's time to talk about successes and failures, resolutions and goals. I say we don't dwell so much on the failures, or the resolutions - what are those, after all, but snippets of dreams committed to paper?

My five goals, in no particular order, for twenty-twelve:*

• Master the art of eating hot foods without losing control of my mucous membranes
• Finally watch all of Jacob's Ladder without covering my eyes during the seizure-gimp scenes
• Write that 120,000-word buddy comedy novel mash-up of Twilight and Throw Momma from the Train
• Grow another inch

• Finish two novels

What are your goals, dear readers? What one or three or five things do you hope to accomplish in twenty-twelve? (Yes, I do like seeing it written out, why do you ask?)

*Subject to change without notice, available only in states and territories where permitted, in Spanish where available, may cause narcolepsy, robotism or bleeding of the eyes.